Defining Happiness
If you try to play by the rules, you MIGHT win,
But if you make your own, you WILL.
I’ve been plagued with a lot of thoughts these days wondering what I want to gain out of life. If I get off the T at BackBay station, get my small French vanilla Dunkin Donuts coffee, and, if I have a few minutes before work, I’ll sit on the benches outside near these ugly, green twisted-up horses. People walk by with their heads down because of the biting air and wind that dries up your eyes. It’s not necessarily the cold that makes these people look sad and bitter because some people look the same in the summertime. Maybe these poor people are caught in some weird dimension called society?
Ok, so check this out. What if you actually blocked out all the noise and static that fills your daily life? What if I made it so it was silent enough you could just really and truly listen to what your soul wants? And, I’m talking on a level more profound than you’ve ever thought you could be.
I’m talking about really just shoving aside the things that society really forces down your throat. You are taught to want to be RICH and HOT. And, rich means you’ve got bling coming out your ass while you zip by in a corvette. Hot means you look like Pam Anderson or Matt Damon. This is what society tells you to be. Then, you’ve got to eventually marry the complimentary counterpart, have children, and have your white picket fenced off American Dream house. You need to build your tiny suburban empire so you can die ‘happy’ someday.
Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness is something you can achieve once you become one with your heart and soul. Be good to yourself and be honest about what brings you joy. I think we try to do this to some extent, but the process in which we try to find happiness is still within the guidelines of society.
For the most part, I feel that happiness is buried within love…whether it be love for a person or persons, or being in love. Happiness can naturally be other things, but I would like to keep this discussion routed in the highest pinnacle of happiness that I could possibly comprehend---which is the most profound intertwining of two or more spirits.
So, when people say, “I want to be happy someday.” It like it’s almost code for, “I want to find someone (who has never been married or has kids previously) that I will fall in love with in a fairytale manner and, I’ll eventually have two children while simultaneously climbing the corporate ladder to success.”
Isn’t it sad that we can so easily define another person’s happiness?
But if you make your own, you WILL.
I’ve been plagued with a lot of thoughts these days wondering what I want to gain out of life. If I get off the T at BackBay station, get my small French vanilla Dunkin Donuts coffee, and, if I have a few minutes before work, I’ll sit on the benches outside near these ugly, green twisted-up horses. People walk by with their heads down because of the biting air and wind that dries up your eyes. It’s not necessarily the cold that makes these people look sad and bitter because some people look the same in the summertime. Maybe these poor people are caught in some weird dimension called society?
Ok, so check this out. What if you actually blocked out all the noise and static that fills your daily life? What if I made it so it was silent enough you could just really and truly listen to what your soul wants? And, I’m talking on a level more profound than you’ve ever thought you could be.
I’m talking about really just shoving aside the things that society really forces down your throat. You are taught to want to be RICH and HOT. And, rich means you’ve got bling coming out your ass while you zip by in a corvette. Hot means you look like Pam Anderson or Matt Damon. This is what society tells you to be. Then, you’ve got to eventually marry the complimentary counterpart, have children, and have your white picket fenced off American Dream house. You need to build your tiny suburban empire so you can die ‘happy’ someday.
Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness is something you can achieve once you become one with your heart and soul. Be good to yourself and be honest about what brings you joy. I think we try to do this to some extent, but the process in which we try to find happiness is still within the guidelines of society.
For the most part, I feel that happiness is buried within love…whether it be love for a person or persons, or being in love. Happiness can naturally be other things, but I would like to keep this discussion routed in the highest pinnacle of happiness that I could possibly comprehend---which is the most profound intertwining of two or more spirits.
So, when people say, “I want to be happy someday.” It like it’s almost code for, “I want to find someone (who has never been married or has kids previously) that I will fall in love with in a fairytale manner and, I’ll eventually have two children while simultaneously climbing the corporate ladder to success.”
Isn’t it sad that we can so easily define another person’s happiness?
posted by Kitxana at 1:27 AM
6 Comments:
That is extraordinarily profound and well thought.
You are so poetic, check out the latest Psychology Journal's major article on happiness. It points to age differences having correlations with happiness due to expectations, desires, etc that change over time. Very interesting stuff..........
Happiness found in love of persons, people, and animals. It's amazing how wonderful having pets in your life really make a difference. They're so amazingly unconditional in their love. Some might argue that cats really don't know "love" but I really believe that both cats and dogs really know what you've done for them, and really appreciate your love and care. I love to come home to my cat, two dogs, and three betta fish (yes, I believe that my fish really know me - after all, they see me, swim up toward me in their bowls, and wait for me to feed them. It's pretty neat!). And I've recently married the love of my life. We haven't killed each other yet, so it must be love. (:
I do feel sorry for people who don't get it, you know? A job is a job, not life. Life is meant for living.
Yes, it is sad when people have a misunderstanding about what they are doing in their lives. I think it's so easy for people to get caught up in something or place value in the wrong thing. This is because it's 'easy'. Once you integrate into society, it's already assumed that you must live a certain way. And, if you do truly acknowledge that you must seperate yourself from the expectations of society, there is a lot of work to be expected from there on. It all comes down to having the courage to be truthful to oneself.
Very interesting thoughts. Right, on sooo many levels!! Why do some people have to "wait" to be happy? What is working towards "success?" Does Success equal Fortune? What is that?! Having the most bling..looking like Pamela or Matt? Are these thoughts and feelings those of the individual? or..Does an observer have the right to assess one's happiness? (maybe a discussion for another day) :) You know what's scary, though? Some seriously UNFORTUNATE people really DO feel that they are not successful (and therefore should not be happy) because they don't have the bling or don't look like the rich and famous.
Let's take a "successful" doctor who went into medicine due to family pressure however her passion is interior design. Is she really happy? Does she own these successes? Are these her goals or someone elses goals? Of course one cannot be happy when meeting a standard other than our own. From my perspctive, if someone enjoys and appreciates many successes, s/he is then successful; If one does not acknowledge and appreciate success, s/he is not. And any observer's observation is merely an opinion.
What is success, though? If some people could select just a few recent events in their lives, they might SEE how fortunate they are. Not saying to look at yourself and say.."I'm lucky to NOT have been in Southern Asia the last week of December." Although that statement would not be completely untrue, I'm thinking more along the lines of..what good things have led me to my station in life or was there someone in my past that introduced me to one of their interests that is now one of my great passions? Did being at the right place at the right time, coupled with being prepared for that "meeting" lead me to a success? I'm sure we have all had MANY successes!
To think that, for some people, there is only one (1) destination that ends in success...well, that's just plain unfortunate. Success can be merely...a matter of PERSPECTIVE. Obviously, both good things and bad things do happen and I'm not implying that in order to be happy, we have only good things happen nor am I implying that one should sit around and not work toward any goals either or to lower your standards. I know I don't have a lot of "bling" and I look nothing like Pamela, (as any observer would agree) I've experienced both good and bad, but I've been very fortunate and have appreciated many successes. And all those successes/rewards are just incentives to move forward to more successes.
I guess to a certain extent, we are all chasing the proverbial carrot (or the rabbit) in this driven society - and if everytime you catch it, you feel nothing - you need to set your own goals, set your own standards and acknowledge and appreciate more.
Take care, :)
I am amazed by the thoughts of the contributers. I believe Happiness is there always, rules, society, thoughts, feelings, desires.... anything cannot come between you and Happiness.
It is just that you have to identify it everyday and there lies the Quest.
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